Dreamy (debatable) Cashew and Banana Ice-cream

 
 I like bowls, fyi.

I like bowls, fyi.

 

#VeganFoodPorn is a thing. I know because I Insta-hunt it when I want to be inspired by other people’s seemingly effortless culinary concoctions. I follow about 500 people on Instagram who are brilliant at making food appear ridiculously good looking.  I’m never going to be one of them but it doesn’t stop me having a go. Can't cook, will cook - that's me.

 
 Note banana nice-cream as white as snow.

Note banana nice-cream as white as snow.

 

This week, I liked the look of Dreamy Cashew and Banana Ice-cream with Strawberry Coulis, featured in Vegan Life magazine.

The banana ice-cream looked beautifully snow white, the strawberries looked blood red and I got excited by the fact I own Kilner style drinking glasses like they used in their picture. How hard can this be?

Whatever it is ALL the fancy bloggers out there know about food and photography and food photography, I don’t. 

My banana ice-cream was not snow white like the photo. The ingredients list called for dates. Dates don’t make a banana ice-cream white. Even bananas make it hella yella.
 

 
 Spooning Bananas

Spooning Bananas

 

My strawberries were red in an out-of-season lacklustre sort of way. And now I feel bad for buying strawberries in January. GODDAMMIT!

 Up close and personal with my fruit and nut.

Up close and personal with my fruit and nut.

 Milk & Honey, vegan style.

Milk & Honey, vegan style.

Out came my first Kilner glass, keen as I was to emulate the pretty picture...

 
 Glass Half Full... of strawberries.

Glass Half Full... of strawberries.

 
 These strawberries soon disappeared once I added the second layer of banana mush. Damn you, berries!

These strawberries soon disappeared once I added the second layer of banana mush. Damn you, berries!

 How did they get a fluffy mound of ice-cream to balloon out of the top of the glass? Mine just dribbled down the sides.

How did they get a fluffy mound of ice-cream to balloon out of the top of the glass? Mine just dribbled down the sides.

I happen to be married to an actual photographer. A man who is paid to know his way around a camera. I paid for a camera, which I don’t know how to use. I beckoned him over, begging him to save my ice-cream from my camera skills.

Arriving on the scene, he surveyed the mess and said: ‘Oh’.

Oh indeed. It’s basically a glorified banana smoothie and you don’t have to be a culinary goddess to bash out a banana smoothie.

I still had enough debris left for one more attempt. For my second glass, I tried cutting the strawberries differently and shoving them down the side of the glass, hoping they’d still be visible after the second layer of ice-cream was poured over them…

Barely. Maybe it would have been a success if I’d had more strawberries. I had the three I was using as nonchalant props in the photo, but by the time I remembered them I’d already poured ice-cream to the top of the jar and sworn all my swear words.

Gaz suggested moving the shoot to my light box.

 
 

Next, he performed some ‘rescue photography.’ Ten points if you can spot the picture Gaz took after a fiddle with the buttons on the camera and a change up of some lighting.

 
 Yes yes, he's a better photographer. Whatevs.

Yes yes, he's a better photographer. Whatevs.

 

I stood beside him thinking how does he do that instead of actually trying to learn how he does that.  

As the saying kind of goes, you can’t shine a shit, but you can roll it in glitter, and by glitter I mean get a professional photographer to make the best of your mess. If you happen to have one knocking about, like I do. If not, good luck making this look presentable!

 
 Recipe sampled from this Vegan Life issue.

Recipe sampled from this Vegan Life issue.