This Vegan Week | 12.3.17

Happy Vegan

1. | Simon Amstell is back with a vegan bang.

Je suis VERY excited that one of my all time favourite comedians, Simon Amstell, has written a film about veganism. Set in a utopian future 2067, violence has been trumped by compassion, everyone is vegan, there are star turns from Martin Freeman and Joanna Lumley and a cameo from vegan grime artist JME, the man behind such word-porn as “...Whichever one's nearer / Vegan, now I see clearer / No meat, no cheese, no milk, no eggs / Don't believe me? Ask Sarah / Stop staring, you're not four-eyed / I only put good food in my jaw-side."

Well said, JME. I wonder what the great lyricist himself would make of such exquisite sentences of mine as ‘Je suis very excited’.

Maybe it’s just that now veganism is on my radar it seems more topical and mainstream than ever. What they call Baader Meinhof phenomenon, or it could have been this popular for years and I was too blind to see. Either way, Amstell is back and not since the glory days of Buzzcocks have I been this excited. I used to want to marry him back when I just thought he was funny - imagine how I feel now I know he’s also vegan!*

*But also, gay. Which counts me out. God damn his sexual preferences!

Catch Carnage on the BBC from March 19th. Here’s a recent interview with Simon in the Guardian to whet your appetite.

Checking them there JME lyrics reminded me that last summer at the Soul Circus yoga festival, my sister and I got our dancing shoes on to a great ska band called Regime, who surprised us with this awesome song:


We were front and centre when those lyrics burst out of the speakers! I recall hugging the singer when his set was finished. Vegan’s gotta hug a vegan when vegan’s been entertained.

2. | Milk - Udder Or Nut? I choose nut. Or oat. Or soya bean. I shudder at udders.

Why take milk from a cow when you can milk oats?

Why take milk from a cow when you can milk oats?

If you stop to think about it, the fact cow’s milk sales are in decline is not the news. The real news is that for so many years so many people consumed so much of it without pausing for thought. Baby cow growth fluid which sends a calf from teeny on her way up to 1500lbs, drunk by humans! Millions of cows, treated like shit, for humans!

When I read this article about free range cow’s milk, the bit that struck me was the startling fact that 20% of cattle never even see the sky.

Cow’s milk sales are in decline. Free range milk is certainly a step in the right direction for people who will not give up their daily dose, but are comforted by the thought that the cow’s milk they purchased came from cows who had lived 180 days of the year outside. Lucky cows.

The ultimate answer, as I hope is illustrated wonderfully in Amstell’s utopia, is that we phase out animal products in their entirety, for they are not necessary for our health and, as has been proven time and again, their production is a massive strain on the environment. Do you want to drink cow’s milk now, or leave a happy planet for your grandchildren later? Never less than on point with my references, I quote Our Graham from hit '90s game show Blind Date… the choice is yours!

We’ve been almond milk drinkers in our household for years, but we’ve recently switched to oat milk, on account of discovering Oatly. If you haven’t tried it yet, do! It’s fricking delicious. The Barista edition froths wonderfully for coffee and unlike some nut milks, never curdles weirdly in tea.

3. | Plant Based Weight Loss

I like to loudly bang the drum of one of the most selfish reasons I love being vegan. Have I mentioned I lost half a stone? Only 50 times a day!

I’ve spent my entire adult life thinking I’m half a stone bigger than I’d like to be, wrestling one rule after another in my failed attempts to shift it and look more like all the slimmer women I gaze at on Instagram. I went vegan because Dairy is Scary turned me off meat for good, never did I ever consider it might turn out to be the simplest way to lose weight - what a bonus!
Here’s an interesting article about said vegan weight loss.

4. | Palm Oil - Not Cool. Not At All Cool.

Say NO! to palm oil. Save the world. Go to bed.

Say NO! to palm oil. Save the world. Go to bed.

Anyone who’s watched Leonardo DiCaprio’s Before the Flood will know the dire straits mass consumption of palm oil is leaving us in.

I’ve recently been writing about wild animals for a feature in Take a Break magazine (I’m a real life writer in real life! These words don’t usually come for free!) and thus, have learned very interesting things about various species, including the beautiful orangutans. I also learned that most websites about animal facts tend to be aimed at children. It’s like adults just don’t give a shit about animals.

Here’s an interesting video about orangutans, aimed at kids, loved by me:


Borneo’s orangutan habitat is being massively affected by our greedy guzzling of palm oil, so if you would like to reduce your palm oil consumption (it is in SO many products, it’s terrifying) here’s a handy link to guide us towards more ethical choices. Save the ‘tans!

Before the Flood was initially broadcast free on YouTube, but is now £2.49. If you haven’t seen it yet, give it a go, for Leo.

5. | By the power of protein... I have the power!

Finally this week, if you’re a healthy vegan intent on ensuring if anyone says you’re not getting enough protein you can punch them in the face with your ample vegan guns, here’s a handy website where you fill in all the food you eat in a day and it whizzes up some clever figures to show you what you are missing and with which nutrients you reached the sweet spot of 100% recommended daily intake.

As the British government recently suggested 5 a day wasn’t actually enough and we should all be aiming for 10 a day, I’ve been totting up my average-a-day and am surprised to see that even though I class my diet as mega-veg, I rarely hit ten a day. Game upped, government, game upped.