Goodbye May, hello May?


Oh goodie, a general election!

I have taken more interest in politics this year than ever before. Entirely down to going vegan, which woke me up to the small matter of us fucking up the planet with our incessant and unnecesarry animal agriculture to such an extent we will soon have nowhere left to fight our wars and drink our lattes. 

Have I read all the party manifestos? Not thoroughly. I'm all about going on instinct and party leader vibes. I didn't really know what Barack Obama stood for but goddam was he charming. I feel irked that none of the party leaders we're being offered over here are as inspiring. 

As a v-gangster, my priority is the future of the planet and a touch of kindness to animals. Because the current system of stuffing our faces with 56 billion farmed animals a year, it ain't doing the atmos any faves. If we don't start prioritizing a rescue mission for poor old Planet Earth, we're all dead and so's the stage. 

I'm not seeing a huge amount of chatter about animal welfare from the Conservatives.  Labour has pledged to support more plant-based businesses and did you know Jezzer Corbyn is a vegetarian of 20 years? This is because he worked in a pig factory in his 20s. Far be it for me to suggest by that theory he should strap on a pair and go the whole hog to veganland. He's an advocate of animal welfare, unlike May, who wants to repeal the fox hunting ban. A poll revealed 84% of the public are against repealing the ban. Why is it even being talked about in the Conservative Manifesto? It's done, Theresa! Leave it!

I live in a Conservative stronghold. When I say stronghold, I mean this MP has had his seat since the 90s, despite cheating on his wife while she battled cancer, with a woman he met while she was campaigning AGAINST the fox hunting ban. Sounds like a really nice chap. 

But if no vote is a wasted vote, should I vote Labour, because Jez is veggie? LibDem, because intelligent people I know vote LibDem and are informing me they have 38 environmental pledges? Here's the Green Manifesto. As a vegan, should Greens have my de facto vote? I'm rooting for a better world. Can you hear me, Greens?

Here's the cold hard truth. In my constituency, my vote doesn't really matter. The Tories will get in by a landslide. I'm a leftie. I want a united Britain, I want the environment to be seen as the huge and immediate issue that it is. I would vote tactically if it worked in my constituency, but it's too late for me. Save yourselves! Go to Progressive Alliance, add your postcode and it'll tell you if you live in a constituency where a tactical vote might help get a left-leaning party a seat. 

The Tories are relying on the young not to show up and vote. Vote, my leftie friends, and vote tactically! 

Here's an exciting thing. My bezzie is so impassioned about our democratic right to vote that in order to get my family razzed up about the whole thing she vowed to go vegan for one week in return for each of us making the effort to vote. Not necessarily for the party she believes in, but just to vote. 

Offering one vegan week for each vote I could rally, she had me sold. My sister lives abroad and has registered to vote by proxy. My father has promised to vote (and almost promised to vote Green, but then reverted to his original loyalty - the Tories.) My husband is going to vote and so's my mother. That's five weeks of veganism from my omni friend.

According to this clever vegan calculator, she's going to save 30 lives, 900 square feet of forest and 600lbs of Co2. She also feeds her husband and two kids. What a merry farm full of lives saved, and all for an x in a box!

"So she said, all I had to do was vote and she'd go vegan..."  "YOU CAN TALK?!" 

"So she said, all I had to do was vote and she'd go vegan..."


Footnote: There are political questionnaires online so you can see which party feels like the best fit for your belief system. Who Should You Vote For compares the Big Three parties and annoys me because there weren't any environmental questions. 

There's also Political Compass, which I preferred. The questions are more varied, although I didn't understand all of them. I align closely with the Greens, yay!